Tuesday, November 08, 2005
hello granny, how many months along are you?
I have never understood the maternity pants that go over the belly. Sure, like the velour track suit they can be comfortable, but I am telling you, nothing is more unattractive than a mile of fabric stretching over a giant hump of a belly ending at the bra line in a band of elastic. Aren't we going through enough in this 10 month stretch that we deserve pants that make us feel stylish and attractive instead of ready for the depends and early bird special???
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9 comments:
very good point! And how do they expect you to be the 'sexy' prego lady with the tight little tops? What pants are you to wear with those things? Do you have to wear the snug shirt over the entire pant and have the elastic top stop really high and then you just tuck that into your bra so it doesn't have a seam? But then it would still get bunchy...Not that i've logistically tried these things or am even that close to being able to do so, but i'm already getting a bit worried. Oh, and throw a freaky long torso into the mix and expect to find something that will work. The one nice thing i've realized is that apparently all prego women have swimmers shoulders. I used to think mine were really broad (as they are for my body), but i'm feeling quite petite in the maternity world.
And while the elastic back makes sense and all and I'm glad things like that exist--for nothing else than to make it easier to go to work all day and not end up with the most painful gas. But come on! Fitted pants used to be a friend--they'd let you know when you needed to stop eating bad foods and work out more. Now they just make the already cranked out belly very very angry.
I've already accepted that i'm just not going to feel stylish and attractive until probably sometime around next August at the earliest...and that may be pushing it. It's kind of like when i started dressing 'professionally' for work and realized I was not willing to put in the effort to still be hip or cool w/ hints of punk. kind of sad.
I hear you on the gas thing. One of my nicknames around the house is "The Spleen" anyway (see the movie Mystery Men for the background on that) and with pregnancy thrown into the mix I can literally be deadly. If you don't already own stock in it, gas-x is your friend and is approved by doctors. Thank god.
hmm, gas-x..will need to get some of that. But honestly sometimes, it feels really good to be so damned flatulent. Altho i suppose the gas-x would simply get rid of that evil pain as well, huh?
Ooooh--and a friend got me a maternity shirt that is awesome and actually can be worn at the beginning too! So many of those shirts are massive that they'd only work much later on. It's from the gap but it's freaky cute and comfy. Now if i had pants to wear with it, i'd be good to go! There is a cute skirt, but i shan't be wearing skirts to work without a darned good reason to do so.
Maybe think of it as Depends training. You know how pregnancy is hell on your bladder control.
God, that reminds me of mom and Edna jumping on the trampoline at Norm and Diane's holding their crotches because their bladder control was so shot from 4 kids each. Ah, isn't it good to be female?
So, Em, since our dear friend jege doesn't keep us informed, give us all the stats you feel like sharing. You know the usual drill: boy or girl, any names you are considering, due date, how long it took you to conceive, etc. ;-)
I remember I wanted to have a button made to wear at all times so I didn't have to keep answering the same innane questions over and over.
Hey Lisa,
Don't know gender yet, but we will be finding out. At 13 weeks, feels like forever, and i know, it only gets worse :) I have a friend who's due in Jan. I'm due May 21 -my wedding anniversary. Oh, and it took almost no time to conceive. Thank god for birth control! Went off pill in July, had one period and then no more drinkin' for me for quite a while. i really didn't think it'd happen so quickly, but it could be worse.
so far, the main thing about it all is that it's freakin' weird as hell and i don't get the whole 'magical feeling.' Although, comfortingly enough, neither did my mom :) And she claims she's really happy she has kids, even though sometimes the animals make a lot more sense to her. i agree on this one as my kitty has NEVER made me sleep for 18 hours a day or completely sucked all the energy from my body or made me dislike many things i used to like and now really enjoy comfort food designed for 8-year olds (spaghettios and the like). :)
It's only magical when you see the ultrasound pictures of it squirming around. And stay away from the book What to Expect When You Are Expecting. That is the only book on the face of the earth that should be burned. As my friend Mary Kay calls it, 1001 Things That Will Never Go Wrong With Your Pregnancy (But Will Freak You Out To Read About)...
too late! we already got that book. So far, the most useful thing of the pregnancy books are as follows (inspired by Lisa's outline form!):
A. Interesting pictures of baby at various stages.
I. Week 2: ewwwwwww, wtf?!?!?
II. Week 5: Manatee--neato. I've always wanted my own little sea cow!
B. Nothing is safe.
C. I'm supposed to eat many more calories and not gain weight until the 2nd trimester? fuck that.
D. I should be feeling in awe and crap about the wonderful changes I'm going through.
E. Folic acid is a good thing. mmm-kay, didn't need a book or several chapters about that.
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