what i have learned at the pool this week...

4 things.

1. My daughter is friggin' crazy in the water. Seriously. Not nearly enough fear of drowning in that girl.

2. Kids will push the button in a push button shower FOREVER. If you want a kid to continue any activity, make it start by pusing a button and involve hot water.

3. As the youngest of 4, I have really had my fill of being splashed in a pool. Really.

4. This goes hand in hand with #3 and I am quoting my sister here, I do not go to the pool to get wet.

That said, it's going to be a loooooooooooooooooooong summer with that family swim pass....

file under "escapism"

Hot Tub Time Machine. The name says it all and I laughed harder at that movie than I have in the theater in years.

i have a confession...

For all of my talk about my husband being Al Gore, preparing us for our low energy future and going all Amish on our basement remodel, I bake the same way. Yes, I am the Amish Baker.

You see, I have no stand mixer. No food processor. I burned out my lowly hand mixer years ago. I have, brace yourself, wooden spoons. And whisks. The craziest I get is my egg beater and even that needs an overhaul. I kick it like it's 1899 in my kitchen although I do cheat and use the microwave to soften my butter. I am a bit impulsive and never leave time for the butter to come to room temp. Let me tell you, if you have no Kitchen Aid mixer, you need to start with soft butter.

I like to tell myself that it is part of my exercise routine but honestly, I am just to cheap to buy a decent mixer. I'd rather have some East German swimmer deltoids and extra alcohol than currently spend the money on an appliance of that nature. If I get lucky, maybe someday I will win one online. Cross your fingers for me but for god's sake, don't ever give me the starter for actual Amish friendship bread or I will kick your ass.

drag queen barbie

This delightful doll came in a bag o' barbies from a neighbor girl this weekend and all I could think of was, WOW, that's not a Barbie, that's a freakin' drag queen. She is workin' it more than RuPaul.

My daughter piped up with "She looks like a fairy!"

To which I could only agree. Yes, yes she does indeed.

She is the whole enchilada, folks.

Complete with built-in butterfly wings...

And check out those fake eyelashes. I spent a good 5 minutes getting the rest of her hair out of them...

The only thing missing is an adam's apple...

distracted much?

I am no less distracted, but I have at least consolidated my cranberries...

nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the disappointment!

I have a large soft spot for alcohol. Of any flavor and variety. There are a select few that I really don't care for and still, if mixed right, I drink anyway. That said, I am completetly and utterly hating on my glass of brandy.

Let me give you a little back story.

First and foremost, it's really hard to get to the liquor store where I currently live. I come from the midwest where every grocery store had every alcohol - beer, wine, hard liquor? It's all there! And! The actual liquor store had a DRIVE THRU WINDOW! Basically, if you are of age, it's incredibly easy to get alcohol till very late in the day.

Now? Here??? Where I am of age? Really, not so easy. The grocery stores only have wine and beer. The liquor store doesn't open till 11am. Then closes at 7pm. And isn't open on Sunday. And, here's the real deal breaker, if I want to go during the week when I have time, I have to bring my 4 yr old.

"Look honey, that's whiskey. Which isn't to be confused with tequila. Or the real universal mixer, vodka."

Really, 4 is just much to young to catch the finer points....

Where was I again? Oh yes, given all of that, I bought something, by accident(!!!)(Did I mention that all the alcohol is BEHIND A COUNTER? You have to ask for something by name here instead of picking low on the shelf anonymously. I asked for the brandy on sale, this is what he grabbed. I was too tired to argue.) And I don't like it. I can't begin to tell you how heartbreaking that is.

when princesses meet older brothers....

So, my daughter and I were talking princesses again which she, at 4, is wont to do. Specifically we were talking Disney princesses. It came to my attention that poor Sleeping Beauty has 3 names. Aurora is her real name. Sleeping Beauty is more like a nickname. And Briar Rose?

"Mom, that's her Code Name."