Thursday, December 08, 2005
the mysterious land of 3 hooks...
My back kept itching the other day and it took me till early evening before I figured out what the hell was going on. I had only hooked 2 of the 3 hooks on my bra. 3 hooks. Even more than mom haircuts, mom bras scare me. They signal the end to anything young, hip, sexy and non-white cotton. And although I was greatly saddened by this milestone to the point of having to have a moment of silence and reflection, I know the worst is yet to come - nursing bras and 4 hooks.
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4 comments:
It makes me think of the whole disposable shaver contest, where everybody keeps upping the ante:
"Now with TWO blades"
"THREE blades to give you the closest shave ever!"
"FOUR BLADES!!!!"
Remember when The Onion did an article called "Fuck it, we're doing FIVE blades" ? Well now there actually IS a razor with five blades. The 10-hook terminator nursing bra is next "Now with TEN (echo: TEN TEN TEN) hooks...you won't ever have to take it off!!!!"
Can you imagine a 10 hook bra in high school? Good lord, the guys would have fainted if they had encountered that - they were floundering with a 1 hook bra.... Would have been marketed by dads as "The 10 Hook Chastity Bra - your own daughter will need help removing it."
tee hee hee...one of the blades was vertical while the rest were horizontal...f'ing love that!
ten hooks? yes, you too can relive that petticoat/girdle dream come true of the settler women!
Ah, the settler women...those tramps.
"but your honor, she was asking for it! That shapeless burlap dress and fitted bonnet leave nothing to the imagination!!!"
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