Damn you, Mullet! I picked up MacGuyver Season 6 from the library on Friday thinking I was going to have a lovely weekend learning how to stop chemical leaks with Hershey bars and another thousand uses for my swiss army knife, but much to my surprise all I could think was, "Damn that mullet is unsexy."
Seriously.
And by Season 6, which I am guessing by the cold war content was somewhere in the neighborhood of 1989, it was a very teased and very highlighted mullet. There is NO FORGIVING a mullet by the time you have Sun In-ed it within an inch of its life along with some serious barbering.
Oh, Mac. We used to be so close. How sad that a really stupid haircut has come between us. Here are some mullet haikus to ease the pain...
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Gropin' for some boob
Trans-Am door slammed in my face
I don't need that tooth
Cig burns on floor mat
Hefty bag for a window
Two busted tail lights
Stop sign on dirt road
Taunts me with its brand new face
Hand me my damn gun
Diet does matter
Five Buds, three Slim Jims each day
keep my pelt shiny
Trailer has no tires
Rusted rims have sunk in deep
My Homeland's secure
Greasy nails and Ratt
Dead Camaro on the lawn
Pink flamingos stare
No cops in rear view
Passenger window rolled down
Empty Bud can flies
Oh you hot mama
In your white jeans and teased hair
Come see Ratt with me
And my all time favorite mullet haiku:
See that tube-topped chick?
She loves my old Iroc Z
Her teased bangs salute
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